Why Can't Women Support Women?

Over the course of my life I have witnessed a resounding theme -- some of the major careers and professions I have held included me being demoted, targeted and ostracized by other women in power. I can recall working at a long time job when a new manager came in and she immediately demoted me, at another high profile job a brand new female manager was at the helm and she would criticize, critique and try to constantly filter me, recently another woman of power (who doesn't know me personally at all) has gone to upper management to complain and accuse me of aloof and uncongenial behavior (which couldn't be further from the truth). 

I am reminded of the time several years ago, when I was a featured speaker/panelist at a women's event - I said something profound and it resonated with the audience -- I mentioned that the one thing holding women back in the workforce was other women. This was so prolific that after the panel concluded other women were waiting in line to chat with me about the comment and many agreed, I was also not invited back to the event. 

I am motivated to write this blog because I have seen a trend in many work environments that leads me to believe that strong women aren't all that strong, instead they are insecure, and thus use their power to intimidate other women around them. Looking back I would have appreciated a one-on-one talk about why a decision was made, and encouragement to help me achieve and accomplish my goals, also if someone is unavailable for you to be social with it can't be solely my fault since this is a two-way street. 

Overall it is all about communication and support, why can't women focus on being uplifting, supportive and encouraging instead of always competing. If you want to address something - say something, if you don't like something then say how you can improve and if someone isn't engaging with you take the time to engage and get to know them - don't stab them in the back and complain to someone else then pretend you never said anything and sit in the corner. Be proactive and be a leader. 

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