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My Point of Heu

4/19/2016

What's so bad about going solo?

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So we come into this world alone and we die alone, right? Well, as an only child I spent a lot of time --- alone. Because of this I may be a bit unique when it comes to being an independent woman, who is comfortable doing her own thing and perhaps shows a strong lack of dependency on others. But, what seems interesting to me is how often I hear the words "did you come by yourself?" or "are you meeting other people here?" or "are you alone?". Is it really that bad to be by yourself? 

Over the past couple of months I have traveled to Los Angeles, Kauai and Maui by myself. Seriously, to be able to wake up when you feel like it, eat where you want to, sit where you want to, listen to the music or watch TV without obliging to other people's needs is amazing. I attended a few events and knew that I would run into someone I knew or have someone to talk with. But hey, if I didn't know anyone there I could always make friends or even enjoy the moment on my own. 

I remember a few years back my friend invited me to an event, I arrived, was greeted, met my friends and we proceeded to get a drink and walk around. Another friend came up, walked over to me and welcomed me with a "hello" then she said "did you come by yourself?" like it was a bad thing. That was the first time I realized people are really opposed to being alone. Granted I have the most wonderful, supportive, loving husband in the world, but he can't take off from work to attend every event or go everywhere I go. 

I've started a routine of working all morning then going to the gym. My post-gym reward is to grab lunch or something to eat. I often like to pickup something togo and eat my lunch watching the beautiful pacific ocean and enjoying how lucky we are to live in such a gorgeous, safe and tropical place. I think society overall needs to be more accepting of others and appreciate our freedoms here. We also need to understand that there really is no need to be lonely or have a fear of being alone. I sat and ate my lunch today, I enjoyed every bite. I quietly observed the other people around me -- the older couple next to me who seemed a little on edge, the middle-aged ladies across from me who were just delighted to eat their desserts and the woman with her mother who eat at the same place every week and order the same thing. It was empowering to be aware of my surroundings, delicately cut my food, savor the flavor, drink some water and sit back and relax. After my meal I also stopped in at a nearby store and bought a mini-backpack. I have been looking for this for months. I thought to myself this is a great day! I am so happy. I am so comfortable and utterly content with going solo that I almost prefer it now. 

As flaky friends waste your time, cancel at the last minute and leave you hanging you'll realize life really is a lot like G-Eazy said "it's just me, myself and I, solo ride until I die....cause I got me for life!" 
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Kymme
4/19/2016 08:01:43 pm

It really is nice to go solo. But people do look at you funny especially in a restaurant but I've learned to enjoy the moment by myself it is great to be with friends but it is just as good alone.
I think you'll agree once you've traveled alone that is when you really realize it is ok and so much easier solo.

Charles Kale Moanalihaikawaokele Akana Kekolu III
4/19/2016 08:49:38 pm

Introverts rule!! :)

Yanon
12/20/2020 02:29:06 pm













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