My Point of Heu |
 So I met a man who is currently taking care of his wife whom underwent a mastectomy recently... The exchange has upset me and I will tell you why. She opted to get reconstruction, which is your choice and is perfectly fine. For those who know me I had a preventative mastectomy without reconstruction... I just opted to go flat and not get implants or any other modifications. These are the choices that we make and ultimately you hope it is the best decision for you. Now what upset me was he started quoting to me the same things the doctors told me about getting reconstruction and encouraging implants. Words like: they were unhappy after going flat, they didn't like it, stats show most women won't like how they look and etc. I knew in my heart that I was going to be ok with not having any breasts and I didn't need anyone to convince me otherwise. What upsets me about this entire thing is people are perpetuating the concept that you need to be status quo or have breasts to feel normal.
Here was a guy who was looking at me 2 year post-op (by the way I don't have any breasts or nipples) telling me that having a mastectomy without getting breast reconstruction was going to make me not like it, regret it and so on. No one seems to advocate for this option. I had to fight for it and was referred to several plastic surgeons to try and convince me otherwise. I did not want to spend many months having parts of my body inflated and have another surgery so I could have implants put in or spend 15 hours in surgery having parts of my body taken from one place and put in another. He even said that his wife spoke to other women about their experience and what it was like having the surgery and then having implants, which I did too. It seemed so problematic and no one was really happy with their results after the first try. But I haven't been put on a list for people to talk to when considering going flat... why don't they advocate for those who want to just be free and not have any more surgeries or problems. Why the need to try and convince me of what other people think is right? I feel offended most of the time because people think I had cancer, when my surgery was aimed to prevent the disease... now I am made to feel as if what I did was not right, not the best choice and not normal? I am free, flat and fabulous and no one ever notices I don't have boobs!!!
13 Comments
Angie Blaisdell
8/31/2021 12:28:41 pm
Thanks, Olena, for sharing this view. Although, knock on wood, they're is no history of breast cancer in my family and hopefully I won't have this choice to make, I think it's so important that you give this perspective and others see it as s normal, healthy option. Thank you for sharing your journey and new life with us. You're beautiful both inside and out.
Olena
8/31/2021 03:04:46 pm
Thank you so much. I appreciate the support and love. 8/31/2021 12:47:04 pm
You are fabulous! And if I had to make the choice I would follow you! Health and happiness does not require breasts.
Olena
8/31/2021 03:05:10 pm
Thank you Lani, I appreciate you and your positive vibes always.
Alison NAeole
8/31/2021 01:15:18 pm
Mahalo Olena, for sharing your experiences. Both my mother & maternal grandmother had breast cancer. I have been keeping up with my breast exams ever since I was 35, I'm going to be 52 in October. I would make the same decision you did. Breasts do not define us. Others do not define us. We define ourselves by how we overcome each challenge & obstacle that have been placed in our path! We are unquinely created by GOD & our light will always shine from within, with or without breasts! Blessings to you always, and all the others out there in the same situation! Rise up! We are MANA WAHINE!
Olena
8/31/2021 03:07:35 pm
Thank you so much!
Yvette Yoshida
8/31/2021 01:39:51 pm
Hi Olena, My name is Yvette Yoshida. I had a bilateral mastectomy, due to cancer right around the same time you had your surgery. I WISH I had gone flat at the get go. But sadly vanity reared its ugly head and I opted for reconstruction mostly due in part because of the pressure you feel from others to have breasts. I never truly felt right when I did it
Olena
8/31/2021 03:28:37 pm
Oh my Yvette you are making me cry. This is something that I appreciate so much and I know how hard it was and how it must've been so frustrating. I too have heard these stories and feared my body would reject the implants and didn't want to do all of that. Thank you for sharing your story and I appreciate your bravery. Congrats on being cancer free and I feel connected to you too. With love, Olena
L
8/31/2021 01:45:24 pm
I totally agree with you Olena 100%!! I had my breast augmentation back in 2005. It was the IN thing to do; LOL. At a (tender age) in my early 30’s; it was something that I have wanted to do for a verrrrrrry long time. It wasn’t fun to be ridiculed in HS for being flat chested. So I decided, after raising my children and since I had the financial stability to do it, I DID. It was awesome, I loved them!! It was a beautiful fun life. I milked it for all of it’s worth (pun intended). Fast forward 2019, my right side deflates and I had to make the tough decision whether I would 1) Remove the remaining left side and replace both or 2) Remove the left side and go au natural. I had a tough decision to make. I had a lot of emotional, self talks going on. Do I want to spend that kind of $$$$$$$ again? If I do select replacing the implants, Am I ready for another operation in another 10+ years to replace them? Or, what if something terribly went wrong!? So many questions. I had sooooo many ‘recommendations’ and ‘if I were you’s’. It all gravitated to the decision to get a breast augmentation again; it was what ‘society’ deemed ‘what looked good’. And you know what, I made the decision on my own. I opted to totally remove the left side and NOT replace. I was willing to be that ‘flat chested’ high school girl again - with all my anxieties. BUT, after the surgery, the anxieties never came. I was soooooo HAPPY!! It was like a weight was lifted from my chest (pun intended again) hahaha. I am so okay with my decision. I feel healthy. I feel happy. And I don’t even care or mind a flat chest. I feel FREE!! Olena, I appreciate and admire your decision. You are a great role model. Sincerely, From One Kauai Girl to Another!!!! <3
Olena
8/31/2021 03:30:27 pm
Thank you so much for sharing. I too was enticed by the thought of a boob job (and a free one at that).. but didn't want any more operations and I am so glad you are able to live happy and healthy now. Mahalo for your strength and encouragement.
Steve Moreno
8/31/2021 09:02:14 pm
TEAM OLENA
Val
9/1/2021 01:27:20 am
Olena, you are brave and beautiful inside and out. You made decisions that are right for you and it is really no ones business. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or make you question your choice. Thank you for being open and letting others know it is ok. 💕💕💕 12/19/2021 06:03:06 am
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